Being Internet-less....

Being internet-less means…

1. You are left out of the happenings of the world because :-

a. You check on no one’s blog. Which means that you’re left out of the juicy happenings of your dear and some even dearer friends;
b. You don’t get to read the Star online, or the BBC or CNN.
c. The worst, you’re not logged on to any online chats!!!! I really NEED to know when any of you feel sleepy or hungry!!!!


2. The world is left out of the wonderful happenings of your weekend because :-

a. you get to tell no one of the yummy pork burgers Ah Ming made and the succulent gourmet lamb chops Mike made and Khim’s mom’s fabulous fried rice. It was a great pot-luck do Ming, thanks.
b. You get to tell no one of the lovely bbq with endless food you went to;
c. You get to tell no one how Buttercup’s learnt a new trick!
d. You get to tell no one how the Bookermobile now has WORKING POWER WINDOWS, and working central locking and and and, a FULL SET OF LIGHTS!!!!! They all work, blink, and shine with gusto on command now; and
e. You get to tell no one you learnt something new last weekend. There’s such a thing as “parking lights” on my car, which for the record, are working just fine, thanks.


3. You’re stuck in a bit of a “catch 22” situation because:-

a. it prompts you to blog, but without the internet…. How the heck do you post it up?
b. You feel the urge to work, but without access to the work email, it sometimes doesn’t make sense to fax a 58 page agreement to an outstation client.
c. It’s Monday, which means I haven’t rested from the crazies of the weekend, which means, I don’t have the urge to skive, plus, it’s 38° out there…. No thank you!
d. PLUS, it’s Monday, which means that all them lovely warehouse sales have ended, dashed are my dreams of being a bargainista… sigh.


4. You incur a lot of expenses because :-

a. You can’t get online to pay any of your bills. So interest builds… damn! Nevermind that the bank’s just down the road…. Have I not mentioned that it’s freaking 38° out there today?
b. You can’t get online to check on those fabulous all inclusive no-hidden-charges-ridiculously-low air fares to plan your next holiday for next to nothing. DAMN!
c. You can’t get online to see if Cole Haan’s having another one of their 30% off their sale price promotion to get handbags for less than half the price of what you’d pay here.
d. You actually LEAVE your desk during lunch. Which means, you buy food ($$) and you accidentally drop into the new Clarks shoe shop (potential $$$ there… took a lot of willpower not to buy that cute pair of low ankle boots that will look great with jeans….) and you roll over to the pharmacy ($$$) and you accidentally buy a new pair of earrings ($). Damn!
e. You’re so bored you text/call your loved ones and friends.


5. You gain weight because :-

a. See item 3(d) above.
b. You’re so bored, the only to stay awake is to nibble. And nibbling for 6 hours comes up to A LOT OF CALORIES!!!!


6. To hell with the 38° scorcher of a day. I’m outta here…. I’m going home to finish my book, start on a new one with the air conditioning on. Love you guys, but BYE!