Fire!!!!!

Well not quite…. It was more of a smoke gets in your eyes… hair…. clothes….pores of skin affair…

But smoke there was….

We were on our way back to his place, after dinner and we smelt smoke… it didn’t raise any alarm bells then cause it was more like an “Oh dear… someone left the chicken on the stove a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit too long” kind smell…..

We reach the door and notice that things were kind blur….. hazy blur….. we peeped into the neighbour’s (yes, we’re nosy) and WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA smoke billowing out from the kitchen….. we leaned over the railing into the airwell to get a better view of the neighbour’s kitchen and spy a pot of something which was once boiling merrily away, was now burning red hot and spewing smoke like krakatao….

We sprang into action… *mission impossible theme song playing in mind*

We knocked, hollered, yelled.

The only one who answered was the neighbour’s dog…. And it kept barking… alternating between the kitchen then at us… the poor thing knew something was amiss but could do nothing.

He tried calling the neighbour…. No answer.

I kept yelling.... No answer.

So what were we to do? Smoke filling our lungs… (it was lotus root and spare ribs soup flavoured… of course, very very well done), he made to get the security guard, and I, acting on instinct, reached in through the grilles and started blind feeling the wall next to the door. I molested the wall a little bit and just as I was about to give up, the tips of my fingers touched metal… it chinked and rattled at my touch. I lean forward some more (my poor boobs) and Lo! And Behold! I felt the unmistakable touch of a bunch of keys!!!

Heart racing and adrenalin pumping I turn to him and say “Wait…I think I can reach the keys.”

Without hesitation (or any thought to the criminal sentence which carries a jail term for breaking and entering and how NICE it would look on both of our records (we’re both lawyers….) he answered “Grab them!”

So grab them I did (for the record, I was acting ENTIRELY on his instruction, and my judgement was clouded by lotus root smoke).

And they WERE the keys to the house. I opened the grille and we jumped into action.

“Grab the dog” he told me.

(Sure, sure…. Leave it to the girl to wrestle the agitated dog, with sharp teeth and all….)

So I opened the grille cautiously, by this time, the smoke had made everything slightly cloudy, and the other neighbour had come out to see what the commotion was all about… and I slowly but firmly carry the dog in my arms….ok… so Bubbles is a chocolate coloured little toy poodle with oodles and oodles of baby soft poofy fur… BUT IT STILL HAD TEETH!!!!

And the moment I had Bubbles in my arms, he flashed right by me and dog directly to the kitchen…

By the time I got there, still carrying Bubbles, he had already turned off the flames and was taking the super heated pot of charcoaled lotus root to the sink.

Lots of sizzling and hissing and more smoke later, we stood there… kinda amazed at what just happened, my mind filled with thoughts of the penal code, breaking and entering….prison…the criminal and civil suits that may follow, and I could tell he thought it too… second only to the boyish excitement plastered all over his face!!! And just as we were about to make a break for it….. (I was wondering if I’d have enough reach to be able to hook them keys back, when Ms Neighbour came bounding into her unit.

She was all flummoxed and flustered.

“I left the fire on!!!”
“I’ve been calling my *^$%*%*& brother but he didn’t answer the phone!!!”
“Thanks, you guys!!! I rushed back as soon as I could!!!”

To this, a wash of relief flooded over me… Good…. She’s not gonna bring an action against us….

I give her dog back to her and explain to her that we tired calling her and yelling for someone to open the door…

She nodded gratefully and thanked us profusely again..

Good, I thought. She suspects nothing. We were making our way out, hoping to hell we wouldn’t have to explain how the hell we managed to get in… when she asked “So how did you guys get in? You forced the grilled open?”

We looked guiltily at each other, and in an act of pure chivalry, he pointed to me and said “She did it”.

Thanks man.

I had to explain to her what I did…. And lest she thought I was some criminal minded habitual house breaker, I had to explain to her that we hung the keys in similar fashion at home (well not quite… we kinda have a key basket….) and that I used to do the same stretch and feel thing to let myself in to the house when I get locked out….

She smiled and nodded. I could tell she wasn’t quite buying it…

Crap. That’s it.

If she avoids me on the street next time I see her….. I’ll know if I have the “bad ass criminal look” about me…. Sigh….

But trepidation, adrenalin rush, breaking and entering and dog wrestling aside, I must admit, IT WAS FUN!!!!!!!!!!! And I can only say this because no one got hurt, except maybe some blackened lotus roots… sure we smelt smoky after that…. And I’m sure Bubbles and it’s owner will never see me in the same light again… but there IS this special chest-proudly-out, walking on sunshine feeling that comes with being self professed heroes…. Even if it’s only for 5 minutes, and even if the only thing you manage to rescue were some lotus roots from becoming charcoal…. It was FUN!!!!

Plus, it’s something to blog about.. :P