Squiggly little thing.....

What is it about squiggly things?????

So there we were, happy with our purchases…. From two warehouse sales located a stone’s throw from each other… when we decided to have Korean for dinner.

Nice.

So we got in the car, she and I, and tailed Betsy to Kota Damansara.

You would think tailing a bright turquoise Gen 2 amongst the more generic silver, gray and black cars whizzing about PJ would be a brainless, minimal concentration task wouldn’t you?

Not that day.

Nothing to do with his (I don’t even need to mention his name… who ELSE has a turquoise blue Gen -2 named Betsy?) as always, pristinely kept car, but focusing on Betsy proved a bit of a task that day…..cause something else caught my eye…..

Parked under some trees while we shopped, my car had become a landing spot for a myriad of things….. little yellow leaves, some crinkly twigs and what I thought was bird poop. A white tube like deposit, which landed smack in the centre of MY half of the windscreen…..

“Great!!!” I thought…..yet another reason for people to get me to wash my car….

I usually ignore bird poop and the likes, wherever it lands on my car….. so I did just that…. Until 200 metres out of my parking spot, the white tube like piece of what I thought of shit, started to MOVE…….. it wiggled, then wriggled and then did a double back flip and triple tuck dive to the bottom on my windscreen!!!!

It was then that I noticed it’s legs….. and it’s soft segmented body….. that wasn’t bird poop!!!! It was a soft squishy white baby caterpillar!!!!!!!!!!!!

My neck muscles immediately tensed up…..it was soft, wriggly and white…. And it was hanging on to its dear life, just where my wipers were……

I tried focusing on Betsy……

But I couldn’t. I kept looking at it’s wriggly body and it’s little nubs for legs!!!!!!!!!!

Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!

To be fair to the little thing, it wasn’t ugly or horrible in any way, it’s just that nature had made it soft, cold and squishy… with little nubs for legs……… and it was ON MY WINDSCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stiff necked, eyes on it’s nubbly legs, I said to She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named…

Booker : “I’m seriously disturbed by the little white caterpillar on my windscreen!!!”

She-who-shall-
Not-be-named : “Haiyah just ignore it la!!!! Let me read you my favourite line from this Bill
Bryson book I got for a steal at MPH”

And she proceeds to flip through her book and actually reads me a couple of lines from the book….

She may as well have been doing the hustle and singing me opera… I couldn’t focus……..


Booker : “I SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY am disturbed by the little white caterpillar on
my windscreen!!!!!”


She-who-shall-
Not-be-named : “Ignore it”

Booker : “I can’t”

And before I can tell her of my plan to pull over when I saw some trees of similar make to the ones I was parked under earlier, and very Macguyver-ishly use a twig to flick the soft little nubbly thing onto a low branch where it can live happily ever after……… She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named reaches over, and nonchalantly FLICKS ON MY WIPERS!!!! :-


The next few minutes of what happened in the Bookermobile have been censored for the safety and sanity of all reading this blog….


But for those who don’t really have much sanity to begin with, read on….


ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!! The moment the wipers started moving upwards, the poor little caterpillar’s body got caught in it and was squished, mashed, and squeezed between the wiper and the windscreen….. it’s bodily juices were smeared and splattered on my windscreen… in a graceful up down quarter circular motion……. REPEATEDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”


I have to squeeze my eyes shut as I type this…… the muscles at the back of my neck are tense and I have the heebie-jeebies all over me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

The poor caterpillar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the midst of the pandemonium -> Loosely translated to me devastatedly screaming “Arrrgghhh!!!” (pls see above) pretty much to the rhythm of the wipers, Ms. She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named took one look at the crime scene on my windscreen, and BROKE OUT INTO HYSTERIAL LAUGHTER!!!!! I now know what cackling like a witch sounds like…..

I was so disturbed……

But I think Ms. She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named felt a little remorse after we stopped the car. For she got out of the car, immediately whisked out some tissues, and cleared all evidence of the murder that had occurred on the sprint highway that day………..

I am still disturbed………

*shudder*


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